A new outlook

There are so many times in life when we all get frustrated, stuck in a rut, just plain pissed off, and want to quit. Some of the time we let our anger get the best of us, whereas other times we find ways around our frustrations. I can easily say that I've had my fair share of both and looking back, I'm sure I would have done some things differently but at the same time all of the choices I've made along the way have made me who I am. I live life with no regrets, I hold no grudges and I just let stuff go. There is no sense in letting it bother me, because I can't change it. The only thing I have control over is the present, right here, right now.

I can honestly say that the last 3 years have been some of the most difficult years I've experienced thus far. From learning what it means to be married to a police officer, having a baby, adjusting to having a baby, living forever far away from my family and friends, starting grad school, and everything else in between. Yes I know I'm not the only one with life situations, but this my blog peeps. There have definitely been challenges along the way and I know I haven't made the best choices but again I don't regret what I did.

• I've learned that if things aren't nourished, you can loose them, frienships included.
• If you give people a chance they can become your best friend and not the stuck up person you thought they were.
• Learning to appreciate the things you have and not the things you want will make you happy.
• No matter how frustrated I can possibly get at my child, his smile and giggle melt all the bad away.
• Even if I hate my husband and want to leave him, I can't live without him. 
• I might only see my family twice a year and it reminds me that we are still dysfunctional (and probably always will be) but we love each other unconditionally.
•  Learning to live not by a schedule but by life is actually kind of fun.
• Through all the crap that gets in your way, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes it takes a good reality check to make you realize what you have and where to go from here. For me that reality check was a book. Leading up to reading this book, I had found a new level of depression. Not feeling like I'm where I'm meant to be, stressed over my relationship with my husband, financially wondering if we can make it through until the next paycheck, wanting more but not willing to do the work to get there, kind of feeling. It sucks to feel that way and to not know how to deal with it is harder. Thankfully I've got a husband who sticks by my side through it all, and without him I'm not sure where I would be today. It's because of him and his job that I bought this book. We've had this book sitting on the kitchen counter for 4 months, just sitting, reminding me that I needed to read it. Last month, something inside me said read it. So I did. I finished it that day too. Then Brett took it to work the next night and read it. This is the book.....

This book is written by a police wife (from Edmond, OK I might add) and is a compilation of stories by police wifes and police officers. I never in a million years would have thought this book would have meant anything to me. God works in mysterious ways right? This book spoke directly to me, to my heart and to Brett too. Through the stories and frustrations expressed in this book, it outlined word for word how we had been feeling, and everything that we had been dealing with. This book was our reality check. We may not always feel like there is a light at the end of tunnel, we might want to give up, but maybe we're just looking at things the wrong way.

Its time to take a step back and look at what truly matters in life. Things will happen as they are meant to happen and my life is more than nourished by the people in it. I need to appreciate life for what it is, love unconditionally, smile more, laugh more and just live. The only guarantee I have is today. So regardless of what happened yesterday, today is different. Today is what I make of it. Yes there will still be bumps along the way and challenges that we have to face. Thats the way life works. I'm beyond thankful for this book and for being given the chance to live my life. Words cannot explain how I feel. Its a new day, make it what you want it.

 And as we all know...no blog is complete without an adorable picture of my child :) 

Yes I'm obsessed, yes I'm allowed to be.

Daycare had yet another picture day. This one was funky vintage photos. Here's my cute little ball player!

 How freaking cute is this kid??!!!!!