So I want to share this perspective with you. Its from a women named Melissa who is a police wife in Edmond. Very thoughtful in what she does and everything she does is with a passion and from the heart. I think she explains this year's resolutions or lack there of perfectly!
Treadmill perspective of the day: You know how regardless of how we say we’re not going to do it, we always do it to some degree. The New Year’s Resolution. Ahhh….yes, the effect all that holiday gluttony has on us once the December 15th Weight Watchers and Slim-Fast, and Gold’s Gym and 24 Hour Fitness ads starts flooding the commercials. That momentary enthusiasm which comes when we clear out ...all the Christmas leftovers and put all the décor away and vacuum up all the glitter and residue. That deep crisp breath on a cold winter morning when the snow is blinding and the sun is warm…it all lends us to that magical moment of resolve which typically disappears instantaneously as your thighs meet spandex and your feet meet the floor on day one of your new found determination. And that is the moment. That one moment when your will and determination come head to head with the easy way out, and it is in that moment that you make a choice to stick with your plan, or say “tomorrow”.
Regardless of what our goals are, whether it be healthy living, weight loss, financial planning, career goals, whatever it may be, each day, each moment, we must dedicate ourselves to the commitment we have made. You hear it all the time – don’t set unreasonable goals. Baby steps. One day, one week, one month at a time. It requires consistency, continued dedication; it requires us to pay attention to ourselves and how we are following through. It requires accountability.
I often wonder, how is it that so many of us find ourselves at the end of each year, tired, unmotivated, once again saying “next year”, as usual ending a year with regret of some nature? Well, it’s called human nature for one. It’s also called complacency. The chaos and strain of daily life wears on us all. Like many things we can resolve to be gung-ho at 0800, spill coffee on our winter white pants, have a child puke in a car seat, get another over-draft notice, or come face to face with a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting and as quickly as we had our own pep rally we find ourselves first row at a pity party with VIP seats. Too often we allow momentary setbacks to dictate our continued motivation. We give up to easily. We give in to frustration and allow anger to control our disposition. We find ourselves reacting to our emotional stress rather that acting in a manner to resolve it and stay on track with our long term goals. So often we become our own worst enemy and truly lose sight that we are not in a struggle to achieve what we set our eyes on, we are really fighting against ourselves.
“If you fall off, get back up again”, “Put your big girl panties on and deal”, “brush that dirt off your shoulder (Jay-Z is now stuck in your head, sorry)”, “Put one foot in front of the other”…..all common phrases we are familiar with but easily replaced with “Oh well, today is shot to hell”, “better luck next time”, “I’ll start Monday”…. Regardless of how it is applicable to your life, each time we let a momentary set back dictate a do-over, we have in a way, given up on ourselves. Rather than working through each moment, at that moment, resolving the issue, letting go and moving on, we allow ourselves to get stuck, which in turns allows us to set back, which in turn leaves us at square one all over again day after day after day.
I’ve heard from those who fight constantly. One says something, the other goes on the defense, it escalates into a fight and the fallout lasts for days. After days of not speaking, the cold shoulder, sarcastic pettiness on both sides, there is concession and you start all over again. So many times never, ever working on a solution for why it happened to begin with, never working on communication, never conceding the “win”….and never acknowledging the loss is for both. The cycle repeats and you find yourself living a constant roller coaster of the same behavior.
I know all too well about allowing one moment to dictate the remainder of my day. It is the one aspect of my personality I have had to dedicate myself to changing. And, I have to do it moment by moment by moment. You’ve all experienced “Mel’s filter failure”…. It is proof I still have work to do, constant work to do, but it is also something I force myself to address and deal with internally and force myself into another project and resolve to moving forward. I am constantly working on not allowing my frustration with the justice system or politicians or just plain stupidity to allow my energy to be sucked into a dark place of anger rather than refocusing that energy into a productive article about the situation or a productive letter or phone call to try and work for some resolve. Last year, I would have been in a pissy mood all day. Today, I still get ticked off, and I constantly tell myself “Act, don’t react”. Act in a manner to address it, resolve it, move forward from it. And it is a daily, continual effort at which I fail miserably at times. Failing miserably has never worked long term….it’s up to me to remember and act on that knowledge. It’s a whole lot easier to unleash and feel better and be bitchy all day….. but it’s not cute. It’s not cute at all.
We all have something, perhaps many areas in our lives which we have dedicated ourselves to change for the better. Many of us have a belief in God to help us and guide us….. many of us must remember He doesn’t do it for us, or make it easy on us, and we are responsible and required to do the work. Many of us have friends and support networks and our partners to help us stay motivated and resolved to make a change, but we all have the ultimate responsibility for accountability of self.
How we live our lives, how we treat those around us, how we speak to those we love, how we honor our own bodies, how we conduct ourselves, how we honor and respect those in our lives…..it is our responsibility, each moment, each day, each week. “Lead by example” starts within ourselves and we must lead OURSELVES by the example we have committed to before we can ever consider leading others by our own example. It doesn’t just start at home, it truly starts within. ©TPWL
Regardless of what our goals are, whether it be healthy living, weight loss, financial planning, career goals, whatever it may be, each day, each moment, we must dedicate ourselves to the commitment we have made. You hear it all the time – don’t set unreasonable goals. Baby steps. One day, one week, one month at a time. It requires consistency, continued dedication; it requires us to pay attention to ourselves and how we are following through. It requires accountability.
I often wonder, how is it that so many of us find ourselves at the end of each year, tired, unmotivated, once again saying “next year”, as usual ending a year with regret of some nature? Well, it’s called human nature for one. It’s also called complacency. The chaos and strain of daily life wears on us all. Like many things we can resolve to be gung-ho at 0800, spill coffee on our winter white pants, have a child puke in a car seat, get another over-draft notice, or come face to face with a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting and as quickly as we had our own pep rally we find ourselves first row at a pity party with VIP seats. Too often we allow momentary setbacks to dictate our continued motivation. We give up to easily. We give in to frustration and allow anger to control our disposition. We find ourselves reacting to our emotional stress rather that acting in a manner to resolve it and stay on track with our long term goals. So often we become our own worst enemy and truly lose sight that we are not in a struggle to achieve what we set our eyes on, we are really fighting against ourselves.
“If you fall off, get back up again”, “Put your big girl panties on and deal”, “brush that dirt off your shoulder (Jay-Z is now stuck in your head, sorry)”, “Put one foot in front of the other”…..all common phrases we are familiar with but easily replaced with “Oh well, today is shot to hell”, “better luck next time”, “I’ll start Monday”…. Regardless of how it is applicable to your life, each time we let a momentary set back dictate a do-over, we have in a way, given up on ourselves. Rather than working through each moment, at that moment, resolving the issue, letting go and moving on, we allow ourselves to get stuck, which in turns allows us to set back, which in turn leaves us at square one all over again day after day after day.
I’ve heard from those who fight constantly. One says something, the other goes on the defense, it escalates into a fight and the fallout lasts for days. After days of not speaking, the cold shoulder, sarcastic pettiness on both sides, there is concession and you start all over again. So many times never, ever working on a solution for why it happened to begin with, never working on communication, never conceding the “win”….and never acknowledging the loss is for both. The cycle repeats and you find yourself living a constant roller coaster of the same behavior.
I know all too well about allowing one moment to dictate the remainder of my day. It is the one aspect of my personality I have had to dedicate myself to changing. And, I have to do it moment by moment by moment. You’ve all experienced “Mel’s filter failure”…. It is proof I still have work to do, constant work to do, but it is also something I force myself to address and deal with internally and force myself into another project and resolve to moving forward. I am constantly working on not allowing my frustration with the justice system or politicians or just plain stupidity to allow my energy to be sucked into a dark place of anger rather than refocusing that energy into a productive article about the situation or a productive letter or phone call to try and work for some resolve. Last year, I would have been in a pissy mood all day. Today, I still get ticked off, and I constantly tell myself “Act, don’t react”. Act in a manner to address it, resolve it, move forward from it. And it is a daily, continual effort at which I fail miserably at times. Failing miserably has never worked long term….it’s up to me to remember and act on that knowledge. It’s a whole lot easier to unleash and feel better and be bitchy all day….. but it’s not cute. It’s not cute at all.
We all have something, perhaps many areas in our lives which we have dedicated ourselves to change for the better. Many of us have a belief in God to help us and guide us….. many of us must remember He doesn’t do it for us, or make it easy on us, and we are responsible and required to do the work. Many of us have friends and support networks and our partners to help us stay motivated and resolved to make a change, but we all have the ultimate responsibility for accountability of self.
How we live our lives, how we treat those around us, how we speak to those we love, how we honor our own bodies, how we conduct ourselves, how we honor and respect those in our lives…..it is our responsibility, each moment, each day, each week. “Lead by example” starts within ourselves and we must lead OURSELVES by the example we have committed to before we can ever consider leading others by our own example. It doesn’t just start at home, it truly starts within. ©TPWL
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