10-4-2008.
That would be the day Brett and I got married. Today would have been 5 years together.
I've thought about this day for months. I thought I would be sad, angry, frustrated, happy, and who knows. And in all truthfulness I am a mixture of those emotions. Today was the day I chose to marry Brett. We made a promise to each other, in front of our family, friends and God. It wasn't a perfect wedding but it meant the world to me. I married my best friend. My everything.
Time changes a lot of things. We both grew. We found new jobs, new careers. We added in a son. We matured. We grew apart. We lost touch with each other. We fought. We separated. We added a daughter. We got divorced.
This was not the marriage I had planned. It's not picture perfect. It's not easy. It was amazing at times and absolute hell at others. But I never saw myself quitting. People change. And sometimes you do things you never thought you would do.
Where do I go from here? I'm divorced, with two young children, I have an interesting relationship with Brett and I have no clue. I still love Brett. I always have. I always will. There's a big part of me that still wants to be with him. There's also a part of me that says stay away. I have no clue. what to do.
Thankfully I really don't have to do anything. Brett and I are talking. We have our ups and downs. And if we decide that we are ready to be together again some day, then we'll be together. If we decide to go our separate ways and simply co-parent, then we will. As for now, we have an interesting relationship. There is no title to it. We're just taking things day by day and doing what we need to do. For our family. For each other. For us as individuals.
10-4 will always be a day that is special in my heart.
I love you Brett.
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I was thinking of you today too! We were decorating the ballroom for my sister's wedding, and it took me back to decorating for your wedding. You are a special lady, and God knows where you and Brett will be next year, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. Take it one day at a time. There will always be a piece (or two) of him with you. Your relationship happened, it's not a bad thing. Cling to God, and he will direct your new path :) HUGS!!!!
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