Life is what you make it

Over the past 10 months I have learned a lot about myself, my family, my friends and life in general. Its amazing how you can think you know someone or some thing and then it turns out not to be what you once thought. As the time has passed, I'm learning how to take things day by day and for what they are. I can't control everything, I don't want to control everything. All I simply want is to be happy, have my children happy, be open and honesty, strengthen my faith in God, teach my children about God, and just enjoy life. This blog is normally happy, cheery and focused on my kids. But we all know that isn't how life really is. So I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and opening up, venting about life, and just being real. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you don't agree with it, thats ok. We are different people with different feelings, views, etc. If you want to talk about it, lets!

One of the biggest things that is making me think is the series we are in at church. Its about examining the type of friends you surround yourself with and what you choose to portray to people through social media. I'll admit that I have both good and bad friends. I have some that lift me up and are there for me through everything and are helping me deepen my faith, while I have others who are just there. I can also say that I am 100% guilty of participating in the snipits of life through social media. I can control what I put out there by only putting what I want. Not a terribly big deal, but at times it does portray what you want it too. That's why I really want to just open up and not neccesarily make myself vulnerable but to deal with things and work through them openly.

My life pretty much revolves around my children and work. I have my kids most of the time and there's nothing in the world that makes me happier. To hear them giggle, to kiss them, to exchange I love you's, to sit on the living room floor and read books, absolutely NOTHING makes me happier. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I want to shoot myself because they are driving me freaking crazy, but its my life. Kayden is growing up to be a sweet little man. He is a great mixture of his daddy and me and he still has his own personality. Emery is starting to show her personality. I think she is going to be a little shyer than Kayden, but who knows. There is still a long way to go.

MY WORLD

When I'm not with my kids, I'm pretty much at work. I love my job. Right now there are some changes going on within city hall, which make me hate working for a city municipality. However my co-workers are becoming like family. It's taken me years to finally find my niche, and now that I've found it, I'm not sure I want to leave. I could honestly see myself here for 10 more years. I never thought I'd say that. Its nice to feel connected and to have the support I do. As overwhelming as my job duties can be, I'm glad that I have a full support system here and am very thankful.

I've also been blessed with finding a few close friends. I don't think I would have made it this far without them. There are others who aren't as physically close, but I'll let that slide ;)
And then there is my family. We've never been a super close family, but through the years, the distance, the hard times we have formed a bond that is truly breathtaking. I am a lucky person to have the sisters, parents and brother that I do. I love them soooooo much!

There's a lot I just don't know right now. Things at work are difficult, being so far away from family is tough, being a single parent is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, things with Brett are up and down, and just life in general can be hard. There are days when I feel like I have it all under control and there are days when everything seems to crash and burn and all I can do is cry. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I change my mind. I'm human. I'm me. I hope to open up more. It'll take some time, but I believe we can all learn from each other and help each other when we least expect it.
Love you all. xoxoxo